Saturday, August 30, 2008


That is where I'll be!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


I love how these thinkers put subliminal messages in harmless children's films. We went to see Wall-E, so excited that it had finally released, and left entertained and enlightened.

Now I'm the type of girl who is borderline apathetic when it comes to politics. Okay, that sounds bad, and it's not necessarily true. I like to be a little deeper-than-surface-informed so I can appear versed in conversation and aware of any pending global disasters, but other than that, my life doesn't revolve around NPR and CNN.

And I'm certainly not the type of person who likes to get involved in political and social debates, unless they are nonspecific social issues. As I've said before, I love the who, the what, the where, the when, but I'm not a big fan of analysis or philosophy of issues that are out of my control.

However, this animated feature got me thinking. Perhaps my mind is so simple that that's what it takes to get the cogs turning in there.

Without giving too much away, the movie is centered around a robot of sorts designed to collect trash and deposit it into compact squares. He is alone on the earth as giant, world-wide, intergalactic cruise took the world's population on what was supposed to be a seven-year tour of the galaxy, but ended up lasting 1000s of years. This cruise is sponsored by a global monopoly brand that controls banks, supermarkets, clothing stores, and you get the idea. It controls pretty much every aspect of commerce. (I get the drift that this brand symbolizes Wal-Mart, or at least what it has the potential to become.)

On this cruise, humans are strapped to these hover machines that, according to the pre-cruise infomercial, were originally intended for the elderly and disabled, but are now taken advantage of by every human too lazy for walking even the shortest distances. A multitude of robots cater to their every whim--even toothbrushing! Perhaps the real kicker, they are equipped with screens mere inches from their faces that pretty much make them oblivious to their surroundings and send subliminal messages to dictate the latest trends and ideas.

Oh, and did I mention? Everyone appears morbidly obese.

I believe the writers intended this film to highlight the lazy unoriginalists Americans are becoming. Influenced by American capitalism and the increasing consumer monopoly, convenience and pleasure trump physical well-being and intellectual growth at an alarming escalation. A case I am currently working on has opened my eyes to the media's slant on things and their ability to influence an entire country to place their trust blindly on a screen plastered with faces they know better than their next-door neighbors' and ideas that are textbook examples of the power of suggestion.

In all actuality, people are so self-absorbed that I wouldn't be surprised if soon we are all equipped with computers that feed us the same knowledge set and ideology and deprive us of human interaction, independent interests, and creative expression.

The question is this: Is it truly deprivation if Americans don't seek those things to begin with? I propose it's time for humankind to buckle their bootstraps and live. Watch sunsets, not chick flicks. Play sports, not Lost reruns. Trust genuity and innovation over people you don't even know. Technology is good for keeping people informed, connected, and entertained, but it's easy to confuse media assertions with truth and lend more credence to electronics than human intellect and essential good. They know the power and credence they have over the masses, so it's crucial to remain unbiased and not develop the pessimistic slant they seem to place on most issues.

Ultimately, it's important for people to be mindful of their dependence on talking screens and talking boxes, or at least be mindful of how much time and opportunity pass them by as the rest of the world remains in motion.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

the waiting game

WARNING: Portions of this post may not be appropriate for certain viewers. If you aren't a big fan of the TMI, this post is NOT for you!
I have been counting down another important day since I...
I've had a blog started with those words that has been abandoned since 10 May 08. Its original ending had to do with my freakish obsession with getting my hair cut since the second I got engaged, which by the way, I did.

Now that sentence has an entirely different meaning.

You see, the moment you get married, (I guess for others, the moment they decide to sleep with someone), you have no indication that your contraception of choice is effective until that moment -- that prized confirmation -- affirms that you are scot-free for another month.

Due to a series of complications involving having to take a counteractive medicine, I was a little antsy for that day, but I refused to fall into that paranoid pit that most newlyweds don't even see coming. The pit of calendar-watching and overanalyzing every twinge your body makes. Nope. Wasn't going to do it.

But then a week went by. I called my doctor and two married friends. Take a test to put yourself at ease, they said. There's no way you could be pregnant, though. So I went to Wal-Mart after work and bought a pack of two. I felt a peace as I sat in the public stall, praying nobody would come in. It all felt pretty scandalous even though I'm married now.

Three minutes went by and the results were in. Was that a vertical line? I called a married friend. Is a faint line the same as a darker line? The tone in her voice told me any line means it's a positive. And these were 99% accurate tests.

My stomach leapt to my throat and caught. It stayed there for hours as I bought a digital test, convinced that this one was faulty. As I drove home with the tests carefully stuffed into the pocket on the passenger seat, I wondered how and if I was going to tell JT without knowing for sure. When I came home, he was talking and laughing on the phone. He was joking with a friend about booking a Greek isle cruise for four. Make it five, I thought.

I mouthed, Get off the phone, and he did, still laughing. It crushed me to see him so happy. I told him I wasn't sure, but there could be a possibility. We both kind of drained and just sat there. I put on a pot of pasta and took another test. Another plus sign. We ate our dinner and talked about what we would do, what we should do, what was there to do? I took another test, digital this time. Pregnant, it said matter-of-factly. I think when I saw that one it really sunk in. We lamented our three week honeymoon and had a somber and sweet night. We researched false positives online on every site we could find and there was nothing to be found. The only mistakes these tests supposedly ever make are false negatives.

The next morning, I called the doctor and the nurse was speechless. Come in for a blood test, they said. Let's make sure. So I got pricked and prodded and returned to work with my stomach in knots. I went to my parents' house and told my doctor dad what was happening. I remember sitting in his study with fat tears rolling down my cheeks as I explained what three positive tests could not deny. He looked in the hospital database for my blood test results and they were negative.

Negative? Was he sure? Did he know how to read those right? Yes, the amount of hormones in my blood was so low that it was undetectable. The machines couldn't even read it. Once that sunk in, I was so relieved that I actually started laughing. We checked the home test packets and they apparently have to read 25 units of hormone or more for a positive report. Something couldn't be right. Another home test turned out positive. A second blood test the next day was negative. I was not, in fact, carrying a lima bean.

Thus the waiting game commenced. And it just ended today!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

not dead

I am back from the dead and found some time to post.

I am a wife now. I promise I'll post pictures soon, but let me just say that the wedding couldn't have gone better! We have the whole day chronicled in pictures, so I don't think it will be possible to forget a minute of it.

Apparently there was a blog draft with stuff to write about that I never got around to. Such topics include bridal shoot, shower, moving, and Mrs. Nancy. I also blogged my entire Costa Rica trip in a notebook, but I'll get to that later.

My blog might be moving! I've reserved, but it's a work in progress.

Hopefully I will have time for a substantial blog and soon!

a day in the life

7:ooam - wake up, shower, and try to prepare body for picture
9:00am - hair appointment across town
10:45am - run frantically across house searching for misc. items that have decided to play a vanishing act.
11:15am - somehow arrive early to bridal shoot on other opposite end of town with dad in tow.
11:16am - suddenly feel a desperate urge to go to the bathroom.
12:45pm - finish photoshoot and race home.
1:15pm - depart for bridal shower.
2:00-5:00pm - smile, make small talk, and thank people graciously.
5:15pm - time to eat for the first time all day? eat with fiance and MOH at Mimi's (!!!)
8:00-11:00pm - take fiance to one of his favorite bands' concert. stand, dance, and nod off.
11:00pm-12:00am - cup of chai
12:30am - return to messy, messy bedroom and blog. will expound later.

Tomorrow: church, drive to OKC, second shower of the weekend, drive to Tulsa, Bible study.

Now: Sleep? Yes!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

busy bee

Well, it's been nearly two weeks since I've had time to post. How that time has escaped me, I don't know. Less than a month until the wedding and I'm really feeling it. That's just because the last week or so has been busy. Just like in every aspect in life, everyone who demands of you thinks that they are the only one demanding from you. There are vendors to be paid, final selections to be made, travel arrangements, itineraries to plan, and I've also ripped apart my room and would have a fine selection for a garage sale if I ever had time. I'm trying desperately to condense my life, but so far, my room just looks like a tornado hit it.

It's been really hard not to get frustrated when people demand from me or don't respect my time. Especially if they ask me to do something that they can do perfectly well themselves. Just something I am working through. But I am exhausted, I can admit here.

To top it all off, I'm flying to Colorado Springs at 7:00 this morning to be in a friend's wedding. It's 1:42am right now and I've pretty much packed. By that I mean all of the clothes I'm bringing are folded in a chair. I just have to find a suitcase that will accommodate everything, plus the bridesmaid's dress. (I have to tell you. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I look pretty hott in it. I really should have gotten it in white, if you know what I mean!)

When one area of life picks up, others are bound to follow suit. I got offered a promotion at work pending the terms of a raise (!!) and while I am delighted that my bosses trust me with the responsibilities, it means I have new responsibilities and have to find some way to juggle them. I've been bringing work home with me, which I hate to do and certainly wouldn't make a practice of except we're trying to get ahead before I leave for the honeymoon and there aren't enough hours in the day.

So that's the craziness I call life. Hopefully when this wedding's over, I will have time to kick back and relax. Just thinking about it is making me sleepy, so I'd better finish packing so I can make my 4:44 alarm!

Sunday, March 16, 2008


It's 3:00am on Sunday. Still ripe with the flu. Every part of my body is failing me right now except maybe my pinkie toe, and I just woke up with an embarrassing urge to listen to...N'Sync? So strong was the urge that I completed unlawful acts and downloaded it to my computer. So strong was the urge that I only spent two extra minutes searching for grammatically correct versions of the two songs I had in my head, both of which have the word "it's" in the title and are spelled "its." The former English major in me cringes, but the urge was so strong that yes, I listened to the songs before I edited the titles on my computer. Now you know the magnitude of the urge. I am sick and obviously delusional!

NEWSFLASH: JT is wonderful. Okay, so maybe that's old news, but I am reminded especially when he comes to see me AND brings me Jamba Juice even when I am death warmed over. Not only is he incredibly good looking, but he has about a million different smiles and expressions and ways to make me laugh. He's so diverse and sweet and goofy and interesting that my life is never boring with him. I discover new things I love about him everyday and have learned I can't live without his smile, his laugh, his sense of humor, his love and I'm glad I don't have to try!

That I am NOT delusional about!