7:ooam - wake up, shower, and try to prepare body for picture
9:00am - hair appointment across town
10:45am - run frantically across house searching for misc. items that have decided to play a vanishing act.
11:15am - somehow arrive early to bridal shoot on other opposite end of town with dad in tow.
11:16am - suddenly feel a desperate urge to go to the bathroom.
12:45pm - finish photoshoot and race home.
1:15pm - depart for bridal shower.
2:00-5:00pm - smile, make small talk, and thank people graciously.
5:15pm - time to eat for the first time all day? eat with fiance and MOH at Mimi's (!!!)
8:00-11:00pm - take fiance to one of his favorite bands' concert. stand, dance, and nod off.
11:00pm-12:00am - cup of chai
12:30am - return to messy, messy bedroom and blog. will expound later.
Tomorrow: church, drive to OKC, second shower of the weekend, drive to Tulsa, Bible study.
Now: Sleep? Yes!
Showing posts with label real life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label real life. Show all posts
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Monday, October 8, 2007
Competition
There are many forms of it. Friendly competition that builds camaraderie. Unspoken competition that gradually deteriorates friendships. Open rivalries. Competition to advance in some way.
My pride should have taken a major fall, but it wasn't too bad. My team, my beloved Texas Longhorns lost by a touchdown to OU. That's only a big deal because a) I am a Texas fan living in Oklahoma, and b) my boyfriend graduated from OU, lived in their stadium, and absolutely loves those Sooners. JT has been very graceful about it. I think it's because OU only beat them by a touchdown. Some predicted it would be a blowout. Both teams, and the entire Big XII for that matter have a lot of work to do! Anyway, I pictured a big show of exaggerated celebrations and dramatics during the game, but that was kind of muted because JT was as sick as a dog. When it was over, the outcome wasn't the typical end of a competition, just an attitude of so that's that.
I have been a competitive person my entire life. It's in my nature as a human being, as the firstborn and only girl of three children in my family, and as my father's daughter.
In sports, I was incredibly clumsy, but I went out for the team every year. It wasn't natural ability or winning that kept me signing up every season, it was my competitive nature. I have missed playing sports because my life is much better when that kind of adrenaline, strategy, and power is incorporated into my lifestyle. I am determined to play indoor soccer again and develop fundamental skills so it looks like I know what I am doing out there.
I am running in the Tulsa Run two weeks from Saturday. Sometimes I wonder if 15K is too much for a first race. This is coming from the person who broke stride in footraces on the playground when it became apparent that I was going to lose. It's different, running. It's not a team sport; your success is totally dependent on your ability. I have worked, but not too hard. I can run 6 miles on a good day, but my runs are becoming more inconsistent. I suck wind and jog at a snail-like pace. I average about 11-12 minutes per mile, which is fast compared to my track record. (HA! Yes, pun intended!)
Even though I've been running for months, I've developed habits but no consistency. I'll run three nights one week and one night another week. On my days back from a couple days' break, I can run farther and faster. When I've gotten enough sleep, carbs, and protein, my performance is better, who would have known. Some days I run six miles. Other days I am struggling before the first mile marker. I just need to not be so self-conscious. I need to take the Truffle Shuffle out there and ignore everyone else during the race. I need someone to tell me that even if I can't run nine miles, and my pace is much slower than everyone else's, it won't hurt to give it my best instead of giving up and making excuses.
Confession time: I am a very prideful woman. I hate not being right, not being perfect. I would rather be bad at something than be great but not perfect at it. Just for kicks, what do you consider the best way to douse a competition that has gotten out of hand? How do you lay down your pride and agree to disagree when arguing with someone?
I think that learning how to exist peacefully with people is one of the most important things to master in this world, and that laying down your pride and approaching a person to talk things out is key in those baby steps of learning. Even though I will never be perfect at it, this is one thing I will not hesitate to try.
My pride should have taken a major fall, but it wasn't too bad. My team, my beloved Texas Longhorns lost by a touchdown to OU. That's only a big deal because a) I am a Texas fan living in Oklahoma, and b) my boyfriend graduated from OU, lived in their stadium, and absolutely loves those Sooners. JT has been very graceful about it. I think it's because OU only beat them by a touchdown. Some predicted it would be a blowout. Both teams, and the entire Big XII for that matter have a lot of work to do! Anyway, I pictured a big show of exaggerated celebrations and dramatics during the game, but that was kind of muted because JT was as sick as a dog. When it was over, the outcome wasn't the typical end of a competition, just an attitude of so that's that.
I have been a competitive person my entire life. It's in my nature as a human being, as the firstborn and only girl of three children in my family, and as my father's daughter.
In sports, I was incredibly clumsy, but I went out for the team every year. It wasn't natural ability or winning that kept me signing up every season, it was my competitive nature. I have missed playing sports because my life is much better when that kind of adrenaline, strategy, and power is incorporated into my lifestyle. I am determined to play indoor soccer again and develop fundamental skills so it looks like I know what I am doing out there.
I am running in the Tulsa Run two weeks from Saturday. Sometimes I wonder if 15K is too much for a first race. This is coming from the person who broke stride in footraces on the playground when it became apparent that I was going to lose. It's different, running. It's not a team sport; your success is totally dependent on your ability. I have worked, but not too hard. I can run 6 miles on a good day, but my runs are becoming more inconsistent. I suck wind and jog at a snail-like pace. I average about 11-12 minutes per mile, which is fast compared to my track record. (HA! Yes, pun intended!)
Even though I've been running for months, I've developed habits but no consistency. I'll run three nights one week and one night another week. On my days back from a couple days' break, I can run farther and faster. When I've gotten enough sleep, carbs, and protein, my performance is better, who would have known. Some days I run six miles. Other days I am struggling before the first mile marker. I just need to not be so self-conscious. I need to take the Truffle Shuffle out there and ignore everyone else during the race. I need someone to tell me that even if I can't run nine miles, and my pace is much slower than everyone else's, it won't hurt to give it my best instead of giving up and making excuses.
Confession time: I am a very prideful woman. I hate not being right, not being perfect. I would rather be bad at something than be great but not perfect at it. Just for kicks, what do you consider the best way to douse a competition that has gotten out of hand? How do you lay down your pride and agree to disagree when arguing with someone?
I think that learning how to exist peacefully with people is one of the most important things to master in this world, and that laying down your pride and approaching a person to talk things out is key in those baby steps of learning. Even though I will never be perfect at it, this is one thing I will not hesitate to try.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Lost and Found
I haven't gotten directionally lost in a long time, and when I am lost, I usually capitalize on the situation by exploring the area and seeing what new things I can learn about my location. Saturday, we were painting JT's kitchen when we discovered that my mad corner painting skills were impaired by old brushes. There's a Lowe's five minutes from his house, so I volunteered to exchange an air filter and stock up on brushes. Well, I ended up getting the wrong brushes. I got chip brushes, which are used for woodwork and much too small for our task at hand. (I know, right? I asked myself why send a woman to Lowes? Because my track record for painting proved that I would be much more useful on this trip than trying to get work done myself!)
So I had to go back and I was pouty and disappointed that I had been having female moments all day. If there's one thing I hate less, it's living up to the typical female stereotypes. (I only have brothers, if that clears things up.)
There's Lowes at the Green Marker. Somewhere, somehow in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, I turned too early and ended up on the Broken Arrow Expressway. Whoops. Oh well, JT doesn't have to know. I turned around on the next exit. There weren't any signs, but I figured doing a DIRECT U-TURN would put me back on the same highway, just going west toward Lowe's. Almost immediately, I realized that I was getting further from civilization. There were no highway markers to tell me what highway I was on or which direction I was going. Furthermore, I drove about fifteen minutes with no sign of an exit.
Then I relented.
I called JT.
After assuring him that there were no highway markers to speak of (I'll feel really dumb if I missed those!) He told me to call him when I had a chance to turn around. That chance didn't come for about thirty minutes. I ended up:
I told you, I was far, far away from civilization. And worse, my fuel light was about to come on. That's only happened once before, and I was determined not to panic this time, so I trusted that I could get back on air.
After some investigation, I figured out how I managed to get on the wrong highway by doing a direct U-turn. I ended up on the same highway, except still going east, I think. You would have gotten turned around, too if you had to work with this kind of geography. Check this sucker out in the middle of the map...it's intense!
Before I went to Lowe's, I got gas at the nearest station, which was pretty old-fashioned. And by old-fashioned, I mean no pay at the pump service. There was an old man pumping next to me. He was SO cute and looked sharp and grandfatherly at the same time. We struck up a conversation about gas prices (at which point, I realized I was pumping the wrong kind of gas into my car, but it wasn't diesel, just ended up paying more) and how we wish ethanol would become more mainstream.
In the middle of our conversation, the saddest thing happened. His wife came out of the car and started yelling at him. I don't know what he did wrong, but she was screaming at him that he was stupid and never paid attention to what he was doing! I turned away politely, and my gas pump clicked finished. I wanted to say goodbye, but the man wouldn't make eye contact with me. As I got into my car, he was walking into the store and his head was bowed and his shoulders were slumped. He had the saddest look on his face and my heart broke right there. When I got to Lowe's, I was determined to salvage the female gender. I asked a boy of about twelve for advice on paint brushes, saying I got the wrong one last time and needed a man's opinion. His chest puffed out and he began telling me everything he knew about brushes in the deepest voice a boy who hasn't gone through puberty can manage.
By the time I got back to JT's house, I had been gone over an hour. He had his arms open to me and lip curled out like he felt sorry for me for getting lost, but I couldn't stop thinking about the old man. He held me for a little while and I told him about my experiences. And I needed it. I didn't understand how wounded I was for that old man.
If you skip over this post, because I know it's long, just read this part alone. That gas station experience made me realize how important it is for women to respect and defend their men, even against her own self. It doesn't matter how he's treated you or what kind of lapses in judgment he's had, no man deserves to be emasculated by a woman with a sharp tongue and a cruel demeanor. Women, if you think that real men are a dying breed, whether they're domineering or have no backbone to speak of, then rethink the messages you send to men. Don't take a man's fire away by cutting him down or bossing him around. Encourage him, build him up, and let him know that you need him, but at the same time, don't patronize him. Defend yourself with the truth if you need it, but be patient with him, and try not to let disagreements turn into personal attacks. If you want a man with fire, then don't extinguish him.
End soapbox!
So I had to go back and I was pouty and disappointed that I had been having female moments all day. If there's one thing I hate less, it's living up to the typical female stereotypes. (I only have brothers, if that clears things up.)
There's Lowes at the Green Marker. Somewhere, somehow in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, I turned too early and ended up on the Broken Arrow Expressway. Whoops. Oh well, JT doesn't have to know. I turned around on the next exit. There weren't any signs, but I figured doing a DIRECT U-TURN would put me back on the same highway, just going west toward Lowe's. Almost immediately, I realized that I was getting further from civilization. There were no highway markers to tell me what highway I was on or which direction I was going. Furthermore, I drove about fifteen minutes with no sign of an exit.
Then I relented.
I called JT.
After assuring him that there were no highway markers to speak of (I'll feel really dumb if I missed those!) He told me to call him when I had a chance to turn around. That chance didn't come for about thirty minutes. I ended up:
After some investigation, I figured out how I managed to get on the wrong highway by doing a direct U-turn. I ended up on the same highway, except still going east, I think. You would have gotten turned around, too if you had to work with this kind of geography. Check this sucker out in the middle of the map...it's intense!
Before I went to Lowe's, I got gas at the nearest station, which was pretty old-fashioned. And by old-fashioned, I mean no pay at the pump service. There was an old man pumping next to me. He was SO cute and looked sharp and grandfatherly at the same time. We struck up a conversation about gas prices (at which point, I realized I was pumping the wrong kind of gas into my car, but it wasn't diesel, just ended up paying more) and how we wish ethanol would become more mainstream.
In the middle of our conversation, the saddest thing happened. His wife came out of the car and started yelling at him. I don't know what he did wrong, but she was screaming at him that he was stupid and never paid attention to what he was doing! I turned away politely, and my gas pump clicked finished. I wanted to say goodbye, but the man wouldn't make eye contact with me. As I got into my car, he was walking into the store and his head was bowed and his shoulders were slumped. He had the saddest look on his face and my heart broke right there. When I got to Lowe's, I was determined to salvage the female gender. I asked a boy of about twelve for advice on paint brushes, saying I got the wrong one last time and needed a man's opinion. His chest puffed out and he began telling me everything he knew about brushes in the deepest voice a boy who hasn't gone through puberty can manage.
By the time I got back to JT's house, I had been gone over an hour. He had his arms open to me and lip curled out like he felt sorry for me for getting lost, but I couldn't stop thinking about the old man. He held me for a little while and I told him about my experiences. And I needed it. I didn't understand how wounded I was for that old man.
If you skip over this post, because I know it's long, just read this part alone. That gas station experience made me realize how important it is for women to respect and defend their men, even against her own self. It doesn't matter how he's treated you or what kind of lapses in judgment he's had, no man deserves to be emasculated by a woman with a sharp tongue and a cruel demeanor. Women, if you think that real men are a dying breed, whether they're domineering or have no backbone to speak of, then rethink the messages you send to men. Don't take a man's fire away by cutting him down or bossing him around. Encourage him, build him up, and let him know that you need him, but at the same time, don't patronize him. Defend yourself with the truth if you need it, but be patient with him, and try not to let disagreements turn into personal attacks. If you want a man with fire, then don't extinguish him.
End soapbox!
Friday, August 31, 2007
22
It's officially my birthday and I seem to be doing better. My outlook is brighter. I have recognized Satan and refuse to give him footholds in my life.
22 goals for 22:
1) Run a few races. 5K, Tulsa Run. Sign up.
2) Get freelance work just for fun.
3) More me time.
4) More writing time.
5) Life of constant prayer.
6) Be better with budgeting time and money.
7) Look for ways I can serve people, even if they don't ask for it.
8) More creative time for painting, sketching, making, creating.
9) Look for ways I can capitalize on little things and be excited about them.
10) Read 20 books.
11) Learn how to cook more.
12) Move.
13) Simplify my life and assets. Goodbye, old clothes!
14) Get published in a magazine.
15) Advance in my career. Work on being the best in my career.
16) Be a better friend, girlfriend, sister, and daughter.
17) Write more letters.
18) Talk to strangers.
19) Learn about new subjects like French language, stem cell research, and sheep-herding.
20) Lose all concept of self and therefore find myself in Christ.
21) Get back into singing, possibly in a worship band.
22) Be more organized.
...and one to grow on...
23) Forget "The Man" and live my life anyway. Defy him. Prove him WRONG!
22 goals for 22:
1) Run a few races. 5K, Tulsa Run. Sign up.
2) Get freelance work just for fun.
3) More me time.
4) More writing time.
5) Life of constant prayer.
6) Be better with budgeting time and money.
7) Look for ways I can serve people, even if they don't ask for it.
8) More creative time for painting, sketching, making, creating.
9) Look for ways I can capitalize on little things and be excited about them.
10) Read 20 books.
11) Learn how to cook more.
12) Move.
13) Simplify my life and assets. Goodbye, old clothes!
14) Get published in a magazine.
15) Advance in my career. Work on being the best in my career.
16) Be a better friend, girlfriend, sister, and daughter.
17) Write more letters.
18) Talk to strangers.
19) Learn about new subjects like French language, stem cell research, and sheep-herding.
20) Lose all concept of self and therefore find myself in Christ.
21) Get back into singing, possibly in a worship band.
22) Be more organized.
...and one to grow on...
23) Forget "The Man" and live my life anyway. Defy him. Prove him WRONG!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Pride and Purpose
The past couple of days, I've been having the postgraduate blues. I worked my entire life to prepare myself for the "real world," built a nice resume of work experience and academic achievements that probably dove into a shredder half of the places it went.
Now I'm back on the bottom with no predictable timetable, no light at the end of the tunnel. I am not a college student, but society doesn't see me as or treat me like an adult. My work treats me well, even if I juggle everyone else's scrap work with my own. It's just lonely being the only "young'un" here. Keep in mind, I do understand that everyone has to go through this.
Am I where I should be, or at least on track to fulfilling my dreams? Let's see, I've dreamed of being a marine biologist, a geneticist, an English teacher, a famous writer, a physical therapist. All of those things can still be mine, but when I try something, when I choose a particular path and feel like God is leading me there, it always dead-ends or takes a turn that's too sharp for me to follow.
I do have one very realistic dream. I want to start a magazine for young women. Girls who are in my position right now, whether they are in school or out of school. Anyone who wants to feel they are not alone in wondering if they're growing up the right way. The magazine will have different sections: fashion tips, cooking advice, biblical devotionals, a place for readers to express themselves through art/poetry/fiction, health challenges, columns about current events, advice about lots of things girls don't know about like investing and saving money and how not to get shortchanged at the mechanic's shop.
The magazine will have some kind of emphasis on being the Bride of Christ and growing into a godly woman. I want to help young women have the confidence that comes from knowing they are beautiful and prized and cared for by God.
I picture going to a cute little office with dark chocolate furniture and white accents. There are stacks of papers and photographs on the top corners of my desk, a little Mac laptop with layout spreads open in the middle. My office door is open and I can hear the girls I work with typing and laughing at the coffee bar. There's an assembly of couches and cushions in the middle of all of our offices where we have coffee, chat, read or edit, and talk about our next issues. This is a very realistic dream, as I said.
After my flop with physical therapy, after finding out that what I thought I knew I wanted wasn't what I wanted after all, I am hesitant to pursue something else. Do I go to grad school for print journalism production? Do I start freelance editing? Do I write articles and build a resume? I have writing classes -- they were my favorite in college -- I have some editing experience, but we all know what lines on a resume do for you.
I am peaceful about where I am right now. I feel like I am in the right place right now and my next step is out of my control. I know there's something more, and that God will lead us there, but it's just not time yet. What I wonder is how I can be happy with this little life I am building today and prepare for the future without living in it.
?
Now I'm back on the bottom with no predictable timetable, no light at the end of the tunnel. I am not a college student, but society doesn't see me as or treat me like an adult. My work treats me well, even if I juggle everyone else's scrap work with my own. It's just lonely being the only "young'un" here. Keep in mind, I do understand that everyone has to go through this.
Am I where I should be, or at least on track to fulfilling my dreams? Let's see, I've dreamed of being a marine biologist, a geneticist, an English teacher, a famous writer, a physical therapist. All of those things can still be mine, but when I try something, when I choose a particular path and feel like God is leading me there, it always dead-ends or takes a turn that's too sharp for me to follow.
I do have one very realistic dream. I want to start a magazine for young women. Girls who are in my position right now, whether they are in school or out of school. Anyone who wants to feel they are not alone in wondering if they're growing up the right way. The magazine will have different sections: fashion tips, cooking advice, biblical devotionals, a place for readers to express themselves through art/poetry/fiction, health challenges, columns about current events, advice about lots of things girls don't know about like investing and saving money and how not to get shortchanged at the mechanic's shop.
The magazine will have some kind of emphasis on being the Bride of Christ and growing into a godly woman. I want to help young women have the confidence that comes from knowing they are beautiful and prized and cared for by God.
I picture going to a cute little office with dark chocolate furniture and white accents. There are stacks of papers and photographs on the top corners of my desk, a little Mac laptop with layout spreads open in the middle. My office door is open and I can hear the girls I work with typing and laughing at the coffee bar. There's an assembly of couches and cushions in the middle of all of our offices where we have coffee, chat, read or edit, and talk about our next issues. This is a very realistic dream, as I said.
After my flop with physical therapy, after finding out that what I thought I knew I wanted wasn't what I wanted after all, I am hesitant to pursue something else. Do I go to grad school for print journalism production? Do I start freelance editing? Do I write articles and build a resume? I have writing classes -- they were my favorite in college -- I have some editing experience, but we all know what lines on a resume do for you.
I am peaceful about where I am right now. I feel like I am in the right place right now and my next step is out of my control. I know there's something more, and that God will lead us there, but it's just not time yet. What I wonder is how I can be happy with this little life I am building today and prepare for the future without living in it.
?
Friday, August 17, 2007
Ponytail Syndrome
Two things I have discovered while working at Key:
1) I am (still) horrible at writing titles for articles. Of course, I knew this from Newspaper Practicum, but I'm still awful!
2) AP Style is a pain. Every time I have to delete the final comma in a series, I cringe.
3) I like subjective writing much more.
JT is coming home soon and I was supposed to get a whole lot more finished. I should have read all of Captivating so we could switch. He dutifully read Wild at Heart on the BEACH when he wasn't working. (SO jealous.) I should have organized my entire room and done laundry. Didn't get done. I sacrificed ME time for OTHER PEOPLE time all week.
I felt like I didn't have the chance to stop all week, until last night, that is. I didn't do anything last night between work and when I was supposed to meet someone for coffee. But there's a difference between relaxing and not doing anything. My nothingness was NOT relaxing because I was plagued by all that I had to do. That ranks in the top ten of worst feelings, right next to lying awake when you're too hot, restless or tired to fall asleep.
Wish I could read at work. I'm not doing anything productive anyway. Maybe when everyone goes home, I'll be able to. I brought a book just in case. Depending on when JT gets into town, I am going to go to the beauty shop and buy a new dress after work. Hopefully his flight doesn't get in until 10ish so I'll actually have time to do that. I'm excited about getting rid of this Ponytail Syndrome once and for all!
1) I am (still) horrible at writing titles for articles. Of course, I knew this from Newspaper Practicum, but I'm still awful!
2) AP Style is a pain. Every time I have to delete the final comma in a series, I cringe.
3) I like subjective writing much more.
JT is coming home soon and I was supposed to get a whole lot more finished. I should have read all of Captivating so we could switch. He dutifully read Wild at Heart on the BEACH when he wasn't working. (SO jealous.) I should have organized my entire room and done laundry. Didn't get done. I sacrificed ME time for OTHER PEOPLE time all week.
I felt like I didn't have the chance to stop all week, until last night, that is. I didn't do anything last night between work and when I was supposed to meet someone for coffee. But there's a difference between relaxing and not doing anything. My nothingness was NOT relaxing because I was plagued by all that I had to do. That ranks in the top ten of worst feelings, right next to lying awake when you're too hot, restless or tired to fall asleep.
Wish I could read at work. I'm not doing anything productive anyway. Maybe when everyone goes home, I'll be able to. I brought a book just in case. Depending on when JT gets into town, I am going to go to the beauty shop and buy a new dress after work. Hopefully his flight doesn't get in until 10ish so I'll actually have time to do that. I'm excited about getting rid of this Ponytail Syndrome once and for all!
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Growing Up and other things...
I've had a very productive couple of days. Last weekend was spent in Oklahoma City where I got to see ACE and other friends from college. One of my friends, we'll call her Sevans, started working at this company in OKC called Chesapeake. It's the largest independent energy supplier or something crazy like that. Anyway, they have the most amazing employee benefits package I have ever heard. First of all, they have their own workout facility that offers five different lunchtime classes like Latin Salsa Dancing, circuit training, pilates, etc. Their employees are given free stock. Sevans' is valued at $9000 right now and grows everyday. They have wonderful incentives, including bonuses for good health reports and fitness challenges. That's the way a company should be run, so if I ever have the means and resources to create an incentives package, I will do so accordingly.
Today my tooth broke. It didn't hurt, though. It was actually a popped filling, but it was enough to scare me for two reasons. 1) Are my teeth really that brittle?, and 2) I don't have health insurance right now (!!!). We'll find out more about that later, but under the gun, I checked into health insurances and found out a bunch of things. First, I was looking into a Healthcare Savings Account, which you deposit money into and it takes your premium and other medical expenses out of it. All of this is TAX DEDUCTIBLE! After talking to my dad, we're checking into COBRA, which means that I'm allowed an individual account under his company's healthcare. We'll see how they pan out, but at least I know my options!
While I deposited my check (HOORAY PAYDAY!) I also set up a meeting with a financial rep at Bank of Oklahoma to set up my ROTH and savings CDs. Keep in mind that for insurance and savings and Roth and IRA, I have no idea. I took the required Business, Economics and Society class in college, but I was too busy talking or sleeping or something. This is a completely different language for me. It makes me appreciate having parents and a boyfriend who know what they are doing and can help me. As much as I try conducting my own research, this stuff is too important to mess up just because of my pride!
Work has been going well. We've been getting a lot of media hits for our authors. My supervisor has been giving me rave reviews. I'm glad that I can help. As far as my desire to freelance edit and write, I have been given new motivation. When I first started job hunting, I mentioned a contact who owns a good Christian publishing company here. He didn't have any jobs, but referred me to a woman who runs this editing business and a ministry. She agreed to have lunch with me soon, so I am excited about that.
Looks like I am finally becoming important and busy, but I am still just little old me. I have to admit...I can't wait until JT gets back from his business trip! Two more days, hopefully!
Today my tooth broke. It didn't hurt, though. It was actually a popped filling, but it was enough to scare me for two reasons. 1) Are my teeth really that brittle?, and 2) I don't have health insurance right now (!!!). We'll find out more about that later, but under the gun, I checked into health insurances and found out a bunch of things. First, I was looking into a Healthcare Savings Account, which you deposit money into and it takes your premium and other medical expenses out of it. All of this is TAX DEDUCTIBLE! After talking to my dad, we're checking into COBRA, which means that I'm allowed an individual account under his company's healthcare. We'll see how they pan out, but at least I know my options!
While I deposited my check (HOORAY PAYDAY!) I also set up a meeting with a financial rep at Bank of Oklahoma to set up my ROTH and savings CDs. Keep in mind that for insurance and savings and Roth and IRA, I have no idea. I took the required Business, Economics and Society class in college, but I was too busy talking or sleeping or something. This is a completely different language for me. It makes me appreciate having parents and a boyfriend who know what they are doing and can help me. As much as I try conducting my own research, this stuff is too important to mess up just because of my pride!
Work has been going well. We've been getting a lot of media hits for our authors. My supervisor has been giving me rave reviews. I'm glad that I can help. As far as my desire to freelance edit and write, I have been given new motivation. When I first started job hunting, I mentioned a contact who owns a good Christian publishing company here. He didn't have any jobs, but referred me to a woman who runs this editing business and a ministry. She agreed to have lunch with me soon, so I am excited about that.
Looks like I am finally becoming important and busy, but I am still just little old me. I have to admit...I can't wait until JT gets back from his business trip! Two more days, hopefully!
Monday, August 6, 2007
Time
My life is now in sync. JT bought this little planner for me and I just want to eat it up. For anyone who knew me in college, I had two color-coded planners and a tiny steno notebook that charted every obligation in a given day and the amount of time allotted to fulfill said task. Generally, a nap, an outing with friends, or some other spontaneous occurrence would interrupt schedule, and I scarcely got everything accomplished.
Looking back, I think I created a written semblance of order solely for the purpose of breaking it. The most fun I had happened when I was supposed to be studying, after all. Playing in the rain, driving across the state, laughing so hard I couldn't breathe with some friends in a coffee shop, or racing across town at 11:00 p.m. for a movie that started in twenty minutes. Those were the best times. Basically, while I spread my tasks across a sixteen-hour budget, I had entire days o
f leisure and completed some of my best work when rushed through a scrunched time frame.By senior year, I knew better; I graduated to schedules like this: So while my work schedule and current obligations aren't enough to afford me the bliss of color-coding and obsessive-compulsive scribbling, I will treasure routine-breaking any day! I will live for the moments when pajamas and ice cream sundaes and old movies win!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Real Life
As usual, life has been crazy. My last day at The Tank came and went, and I start at Key on Tuesday. It's been nice having this week off, but I've found plenty of things to keep me busy. The premier of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was this past midnight and superb! Tonight is Spamalot with JT and his family. I have to put together a fantastic outfit and hairstyle in the next two hours.
Update on JT:
We went to the orthopedic surgeon today and had a great appointment. They took another x-ray and found a bunch of tiny fractures and some old calcification. "Your ankle is interesting," the doc said.
"So here's the question I'm sure you hate hearing," said JT. "When can I play soccer?"
The doctor LAUGHED at him. "Well, if you were being paid to play, we would have a lot shorter timetable, but I'm not too anxious to get you onto a field where guys will try to take out your legs."
He ordered six weeks of physical therapy, which JT was thrilled about. He's all about rehab. And he gets to graduate to a smaller brace little by little. We're leaving for Oregon to stay with my old roommate and her family and he's excited that he can be a little more mobile. Look for those great pics to come!
Update on JT:
We went to the orthopedic surgeon today and had a great appointment. They took another x-ray and found a bunch of tiny fractures and some old calcification. "Your ankle is interesting," the doc said.
"So here's the question I'm sure you hate hearing," said JT. "When can I play soccer?"
The doctor LAUGHED at him. "Well, if you were being paid to play, we would have a lot shorter timetable, but I'm not too anxious to get you onto a field where guys will try to take out your legs."
He ordered six weeks of physical therapy, which JT was thrilled about. He's all about rehab. And he gets to graduate to a smaller brace little by little. We're leaving for Oregon to stay with my old roommate and her family and he's excited that he can be a little more mobile. Look for those great pics to come!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Wonderful Advice
"Don't worry about forever. Are you planning on loving him tomorrow? And the next day? Then make that decision daily. Renew that covenant relationship daily." -- Advice given to Becky Beals on her wedding day.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Questing
Spring goals (other than the obvious):
1) Sell clothing
2) Find out how to create the perfect curls (that stay!)
3) Secure new Bocce Ball set, hopefully for less than $30
4) Condense belongings in general
1) Sell clothing
2) Find out how to create the perfect curls (that stay!)
3) Secure new Bocce Ball set, hopefully for less than $30
4) Condense belongings in general
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Wonderful
You know that feeling you get when you're laughing really hard at something, but you're all alone with no one to share?
Click here and forward to 05:27.
Yeah, it's not that funny, but I am dying over here!
My little roadtrip to OKC was wonderful. The drive was nice because my good friend Dorly was with me. That little clip I posted above was first witnessed at her house a couple of weeks ago, and we were reminiscing and doing our best impressions and laughing until our sides hurt and we sounded dangerously close to the girl in question.
My wonderful roommate and I baked cookies and cheesecake at her apartment. We went to this little Chinese restaurant where I ate religiously in college. It was fun to laugh and talk and be free with two of my favorite girls today.
Boyfriend comes home tomorrow! I'm pumped!
I am seriously dying laughing over here.
Click here and forward to 05:27.
Yeah, it's not that funny, but I am dying over here!
My little roadtrip to OKC was wonderful. The drive was nice because my good friend Dorly was with me. That little clip I posted above was first witnessed at her house a couple of weeks ago, and we were reminiscing and doing our best impressions and laughing until our sides hurt and we sounded dangerously close to the girl in question.
My wonderful roommate and I baked cookies and cheesecake at her apartment. We went to this little Chinese restaurant where I ate religiously in college. It was fun to laugh and talk and be free with two of my favorite girls today.
Boyfriend comes home tomorrow! I'm pumped!
I am seriously dying laughing over here.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Rotting
Everyone has left me to rot. I woke up early to clean my room and gather the motivation necessary to get ready for the day. It still hasn't arrived, by the way, and I've been awake for over an hour.
My cat wandered into my room, sniffed around, and then left.
My mom ran around this morning and then left me here with all of the workers.
My boyfriend has been gone for a week with one more to go. I miss him like mad.
The only consolation is that this weekend, my Best Friend and brother will be in town for an entire week! It's their Spring Break. I suppose I've been on an extended break, but I need to go by ORU to finalize my drop process. It's so tedious there. At SNU, one could simply go to their advisor and drop any class they chose. There was no exit interview, professor's signature required, and certainly more than one person in the entire school knew how to complete the process, not one woman who is gone half the time so that students wishing to drop out have to wait weeks and make multiple trips to the school.
I have every intention of showering and going to a bookstore to read a wonderful novel that's been half-finished for ages. But I need a nap first, just a tiny one, and I deserve one because a) it's still before noon, and b) my life is missing right now.
My cat wandered into my room, sniffed around, and then left.
My mom ran around this morning and then left me here with all of the workers.
My boyfriend has been gone for a week with one more to go. I miss him like mad.
The only consolation is that this weekend, my Best Friend and brother will be in town for an entire week! It's their Spring Break. I suppose I've been on an extended break, but I need to go by ORU to finalize my drop process. It's so tedious there. At SNU, one could simply go to their advisor and drop any class they chose. There was no exit interview, professor's signature required, and certainly more than one person in the entire school knew how to complete the process, not one woman who is gone half the time so that students wishing to drop out have to wait weeks and make multiple trips to the school.
I have every intention of showering and going to a bookstore to read a wonderful novel that's been half-finished for ages. But I need a nap first, just a tiny one, and I deserve one because a) it's still before noon, and b) my life is missing right now.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Right...
Other than the whole job hunt thing, my biggest worry right now is finding a new curling iron. I haven't bought one since I was in junior high, and need to find a good ceramic one.
Tomorrow I'm going to ORU to officially drop out. I have no regrets. My stress level is relatively low for the first time in my life. This week I would have had three major exams on my plate. I do not envy them one bit. I have to admit that I made some good friends. My little group in Anatomy lab all sent e-mails of encouragement to me telling me not to drop the class. That really meant a lot to me!
I miss my boyfriend, but I've made a list of things I want to do while he's gone. For one, learn to bake. I made a batch of double chocolate chip cookies tonight. Granted, they were Betty Crocker, but a girl has to start somewhere, right? My goal is to find a good recipe for key lime pie bars and perfect it. I also want to tan and walk and get my physical strength and confidence back from when I was sick.
Of course, it would be great to have a job, at least a temporary job, landed by then, so we'll see!
Tomorrow I'm going to ORU to officially drop out. I have no regrets. My stress level is relatively low for the first time in my life. This week I would have had three major exams on my plate. I do not envy them one bit. I have to admit that I made some good friends. My little group in Anatomy lab all sent e-mails of encouragement to me telling me not to drop the class. That really meant a lot to me!
I miss my boyfriend, but I've made a list of things I want to do while he's gone. For one, learn to bake. I made a batch of double chocolate chip cookies tonight. Granted, they were Betty Crocker, but a girl has to start somewhere, right? My goal is to find a good recipe for key lime pie bars and perfect it. I also want to tan and walk and get my physical strength and confidence back from when I was sick.
Of course, it would be great to have a job, at least a temporary job, landed by then, so we'll see!
Friday, March 9, 2007
Festering
I have been sick since Monday with strep throat. This is the worst case I've ever had, though. On Monday, I recorded my temperature at 103.8 degrees. My tonsils are swollen. My throat is flaming red. I can't swallow without nearly crying. My neck can't be touched and it can barely hold my head up. I've had the worst pressure headache I've ever had. Monday the joints in my back ached so much it made it impossible to stand or sit in a straight position. By Tuesday, every swallow made my stomach feel more sick, and that feeling continues today. Every night, I wake up every hour, on the hour. So you can see, my life hasn't been a picnic lately.
Today, my boyfriend is leaving for three weeks. He's going on one last road trip with one of his best friends whom he is also moving to Washington State. They are going skiing in Vail, camping in Utah, and lots of things I can't remember. They might even be staying with my Roommate's family in Hood River, Oregon, which I am thrilled about! He came to visit me twice last week even though I was on the verge of death and he still likes me even though I looked, smelled, and sounded horrible. He is so wonderful. He took care of me!
Well this sickness forced me to miss all of my classes this week. I am pretty much done anyway. I don't think I have enough energy to catch up in my classes. No mental fortitude. I'm going to start looking for jobs as soon as I get better and don't sound like a little fat kid anymore haha. I am back to the drawing board, pretty much, and it's going to take the Lord to open up the doors for me.
Today, my boyfriend is leaving for three weeks. He's going on one last road trip with one of his best friends whom he is also moving to Washington State. They are going skiing in Vail, camping in Utah, and lots of things I can't remember. They might even be staying with my Roommate's family in Hood River, Oregon, which I am thrilled about! He came to visit me twice last week even though I was on the verge of death and he still likes me even though I looked, smelled, and sounded horrible. He is so wonderful. He took care of me!
Well this sickness forced me to miss all of my classes this week. I am pretty much done anyway. I don't think I have enough energy to catch up in my classes. No mental fortitude. I'm going to start looking for jobs as soon as I get better and don't sound like a little fat kid anymore haha. I am back to the drawing board, pretty much, and it's going to take the Lord to open up the doors for me.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Depressing and Doubtful
Things in life would be so great if I just couldn't think.
I graduated from college, did something most people don't ever have the chance to do, and I did it well. I loved it, worked hard, and was ready when it ran its course.
Then there was nothing.
It was either move back in with the parents or move down to Austin and start a life for myself.
Then physical therapy happened. I'm beginning to think it was just something to do, something to try, because I had no other options. Now, I am unhappy. Everytime I think about school, I cringe. Everytime I look at a textbook, the corners of my mouth (more appropriately, my depressor anguli oris) die. Everytime I go to class, my heart is heavy. I am disorganized, I am behind, and getting back in academic shape isn't important to me. I have senioritis, but at the beginning of my journey.
It could quite possibly be the prospect of four years exactly like this one, no money, no social life (except Jef, he's wonderful) but that's giving myself too much credit. You see, I'm not convinced I would even make it into physical therapy school. Moreover, I'm not convinced physical therapy is what I want to do anymore.
Even though everyone around me has been incredibly supportive of my endeavors, my parents most of all, I know I'm only staying with PT because there's nowhere else to go right now. I am safe in my parents' house, with school as a crutch to be free from adult responsibilities. School used to make me feel safe, but right now, it feels like walls closing in on me.
I've never quit anything before, and I don't know how.
I graduated from college, did something most people don't ever have the chance to do, and I did it well. I loved it, worked hard, and was ready when it ran its course.
Then there was nothing.
It was either move back in with the parents or move down to Austin and start a life for myself.
Then physical therapy happened. I'm beginning to think it was just something to do, something to try, because I had no other options. Now, I am unhappy. Everytime I think about school, I cringe. Everytime I look at a textbook, the corners of my mouth (more appropriately, my depressor anguli oris) die. Everytime I go to class, my heart is heavy. I am disorganized, I am behind, and getting back in academic shape isn't important to me. I have senioritis, but at the beginning of my journey.
It could quite possibly be the prospect of four years exactly like this one, no money, no social life (except Jef, he's wonderful) but that's giving myself too much credit. You see, I'm not convinced I would even make it into physical therapy school. Moreover, I'm not convinced physical therapy is what I want to do anymore.
Even though everyone around me has been incredibly supportive of my endeavors, my parents most of all, I know I'm only staying with PT because there's nowhere else to go right now. I am safe in my parents' house, with school as a crutch to be free from adult responsibilities. School used to make me feel safe, but right now, it feels like walls closing in on me.
I've never quit anything before, and I don't know how.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
One of those days
"Worth it All"
Rita Springer
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
Rita Springer
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
Go listen to it on my MySpace, or Rita Springer's. It's amazing!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Just procrastinating!
I needed to blow off some steam. I just got out of the shower, kind of nervous about tomorrow, the first of two anatomy quizzes this week.
New Friend, who can safely be called Lana now, accompanied me to Nordaggio's, a coffee place I used to frequent in high school. Since I didn't have class today, I had already gone through the chemistry assignment while watching a movie, and helped Lana with it occasionally whilst drafting an outline for our anatomy quiz.
One of the old gang was at Nord's, behind the counter this time, and it was so good to see him and catch up. He'd even grown a mullet! I also saw an unwanted face from the Metro days, but successfully managed to avoid all unpleasant and awkward situations.
I'm thinking about starting a novel. I've written several works in progress that kind of fizzled out, but this one could go a long way because it has an autobiographical basis. Granted, I'm not going to write out my life story because I don't want to disguise myself under a fictitious name. My story isn't phenomenal (yet), but I'm merely going to throw in some of the colorful situations that people can learn from with good humor. We'll see.
One of my brothers got in huge trouble today. I'm not going to talk about it, but I feel bad for him, and I'm glad I wasn't around to see The Confrontation with the 'rents.
The weathermen are predicting snow. Again. Just when we finally got rid of the last batch. I am so sick of winter, especially if it jeopardizes my plans to see Best Friend. I so needed this mini-vacation, with the massive amount of work I'm dealing with.
New Friend, who can safely be called Lana now, accompanied me to Nordaggio's, a coffee place I used to frequent in high school. Since I didn't have class today, I had already gone through the chemistry assignment while watching a movie, and helped Lana with it occasionally whilst drafting an outline for our anatomy quiz.
One of the old gang was at Nord's, behind the counter this time, and it was so good to see him and catch up. He'd even grown a mullet! I also saw an unwanted face from the Metro days, but successfully managed to avoid all unpleasant and awkward situations.
I'm thinking about starting a novel. I've written several works in progress that kind of fizzled out, but this one could go a long way because it has an autobiographical basis. Granted, I'm not going to write out my life story because I don't want to disguise myself under a fictitious name. My story isn't phenomenal (yet), but I'm merely going to throw in some of the colorful situations that people can learn from with good humor. We'll see.
One of my brothers got in huge trouble today. I'm not going to talk about it, but I feel bad for him, and I'm glad I wasn't around to see The Confrontation with the 'rents.
The weathermen are predicting snow. Again. Just when we finally got rid of the last batch. I am so sick of winter, especially if it jeopardizes my plans to see Best Friend. I so needed this mini-vacation, with the massive amount of work I'm dealing with.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Just a silly little girl
So I went to my first "dinner party" tonight. Well, it wasn't really a dinner part; more like a barbecue of sorts. On the plus side, most of the people there were single, so it didn't fall under the classification of a party among married friends. I never want to be the token single girl who laughs too loudly, has a mingled look of longing and envy in her eyes as she watches her friends with their husbands, and always receives comments from both sexes, either their efforts to set her up, or some falsely sympathetic comment like, "I wish I had my own agenda!" or "I wish I didn't have to put up with this handsome man for the rest of my life!" Comments that kind of make the girl's blood bubble. Then again, perhaps being older and single isn't as bad as Bridget Jones makes it out to be!
Anyway, it felt good to be among older people. The conversation was intelligent and witty, and it helped that the people I was with are the kind of people who aren't strategic or calculating, but warm and accepting and genuine. I'd met most of the people before, but it'd been a long time since I'd seen most of them, and I'd generally run with their little brothers and sisters in the past.
As much as I craved that kind of mature, civilized conversation, I realized that I am the young one who needs to learn the sort of etiquette of being in the presence of real, live adult friends. I will let you know what I discover, particularly as I learn from my own mistakes!
Anyway, it felt good to be among older people. The conversation was intelligent and witty, and it helped that the people I was with are the kind of people who aren't strategic or calculating, but warm and accepting and genuine. I'd met most of the people before, but it'd been a long time since I'd seen most of them, and I'd generally run with their little brothers and sisters in the past.
As much as I craved that kind of mature, civilized conversation, I realized that I am the young one who needs to learn the sort of etiquette of being in the presence of real, live adult friends. I will let you know what I discover, particularly as I learn from my own mistakes!
Monday, January 22, 2007
Stuck in a rut
At long last, I've settled into sort of a routine, and it's a cycle I'd hoped not to begin.
This summer was painful for me because I craved interaction with people my own age. I have no friends here, or at least the ones that are here aren't ones I feel close enough to interact with.
Even the friends I've made at ORU, I'm a little tentative about pursuing social interaction outside of class with them. It's not that I'm picky about who I let into my life, but these are freshmen and sophomores, barely beginning their college careers and adult lives, and I kind of want to break free from the whole college mentality even though I'm still very much in school.
Bad habits I've formed. Well, let's take a look into the daily life in Tulsa. Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays are my ORU class days. I have class at 7:50 in the morning and 1:30 in the afternoon plus a lab all afternoon on Wednesday. When I'm not in class, I usually take a nap, do a little bit of reading now and again (I've been reading the week's chapter the weekend before so I don't have to read much during the week), and watch some kind of basketball or football game intermittently at night.
So basically, I go to class, watch TV, and study. I haven't left the house except for errands and class. I haven't taken care of myself; since I'm not expected anywhere, I change into sweats and lounge around. I wouldn't say I've gained much weight, but I haven't been active (especially with the snow) so I'm very shapeless. It doesn't help that my eating schedule is so sporadic, and my mother's an excellent cook.
I'm going to set some goals, here and now! ...Just thought I'd announce that.
1) Get out of the house more.
Solution: I can do things like study at coffee shops, take walks at the park when the weather gets nice, and start taking little vacations - like the one next weekend to see my best friend, Lindsey Kay Johnson!
2) Be more healthy.
Solution: Work out on my family's new elliptical machine daily. Pay more attention to what I put in my mouth, as far as vitamins and protein go. Spend more time in the sun. Spend more time in the Word, above all.
3) Money.
Solution: Somehow find a job that is extremely flexible. Make money stretch longer. Ban myself from ebay and the mall.
4) Social Life.
Solution: Go out. Take the initiative. Join a college/career group at a church.
5) Take better care of myself.
Solution: Get dressed, even if I don't have plans for the day. Stop biting my nails. Be more lady-like. Take my parents up on their offer to pay for voice lessons. Read books for fun. Write regularly. Enjoy myself without feeling guilty for not studying 24 hours a day! Stop looking at Facebook so much and read my Bible.
Like the tagline of this journal says, I'm taking each day at a time, and the beauty of that is that each day is brand, spankin' new and the chance to start something and fix something and finish something. I'm going to make tomorrow a day like that!
This summer was painful for me because I craved interaction with people my own age. I have no friends here, or at least the ones that are here aren't ones I feel close enough to interact with.
Even the friends I've made at ORU, I'm a little tentative about pursuing social interaction outside of class with them. It's not that I'm picky about who I let into my life, but these are freshmen and sophomores, barely beginning their college careers and adult lives, and I kind of want to break free from the whole college mentality even though I'm still very much in school.
Bad habits I've formed. Well, let's take a look into the daily life in Tulsa. Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays are my ORU class days. I have class at 7:50 in the morning and 1:30 in the afternoon plus a lab all afternoon on Wednesday. When I'm not in class, I usually take a nap, do a little bit of reading now and again (I've been reading the week's chapter the weekend before so I don't have to read much during the week), and watch some kind of basketball or football game intermittently at night.
So basically, I go to class, watch TV, and study. I haven't left the house except for errands and class. I haven't taken care of myself; since I'm not expected anywhere, I change into sweats and lounge around. I wouldn't say I've gained much weight, but I haven't been active (especially with the snow) so I'm very shapeless. It doesn't help that my eating schedule is so sporadic, and my mother's an excellent cook.
I'm going to set some goals, here and now! ...Just thought I'd announce that.
1) Get out of the house more.
Solution: I can do things like study at coffee shops, take walks at the park when the weather gets nice, and start taking little vacations - like the one next weekend to see my best friend, Lindsey Kay Johnson!
2) Be more healthy.
Solution: Work out on my family's new elliptical machine daily. Pay more attention to what I put in my mouth, as far as vitamins and protein go. Spend more time in the sun. Spend more time in the Word, above all.
3) Money.
Solution: Somehow find a job that is extremely flexible. Make money stretch longer. Ban myself from ebay and the mall.
4) Social Life.
Solution: Go out. Take the initiative. Join a college/career group at a church.
5) Take better care of myself.
Solution: Get dressed, even if I don't have plans for the day. Stop biting my nails. Be more lady-like. Take my parents up on their offer to pay for voice lessons. Read books for fun. Write regularly. Enjoy myself without feeling guilty for not studying 24 hours a day! Stop looking at Facebook so much and read my Bible.
Like the tagline of this journal says, I'm taking each day at a time, and the beauty of that is that each day is brand, spankin' new and the chance to start something and fix something and finish something. I'm going to make tomorrow a day like that!
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