New discovery: working out on the elliptical is smoother, faster, and more entertaining when you watch TV. Tonight I watched the end of a House re-run and the beginning of CSI:New York. Before I knew it, I had worked out an hour and had barely noticed the sweat.
In other news, Silly ORU mails report cards addressed to your parents. Even for midterms.
Lame.
I am going to have to find new and inventive ways to keep myself occupied until Sunday night. I hope I hope I hope the time goes by fast!
Showing posts with label stupid oru. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid oru. Show all posts
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Rotting
Everyone has left me to rot. I woke up early to clean my room and gather the motivation necessary to get ready for the day. It still hasn't arrived, by the way, and I've been awake for over an hour.
My cat wandered into my room, sniffed around, and then left.
My mom ran around this morning and then left me here with all of the workers.
My boyfriend has been gone for a week with one more to go. I miss him like mad.
The only consolation is that this weekend, my Best Friend and brother will be in town for an entire week! It's their Spring Break. I suppose I've been on an extended break, but I need to go by ORU to finalize my drop process. It's so tedious there. At SNU, one could simply go to their advisor and drop any class they chose. There was no exit interview, professor's signature required, and certainly more than one person in the entire school knew how to complete the process, not one woman who is gone half the time so that students wishing to drop out have to wait weeks and make multiple trips to the school.
I have every intention of showering and going to a bookstore to read a wonderful novel that's been half-finished for ages. But I need a nap first, just a tiny one, and I deserve one because a) it's still before noon, and b) my life is missing right now.
My cat wandered into my room, sniffed around, and then left.
My mom ran around this morning and then left me here with all of the workers.
My boyfriend has been gone for a week with one more to go. I miss him like mad.
The only consolation is that this weekend, my Best Friend and brother will be in town for an entire week! It's their Spring Break. I suppose I've been on an extended break, but I need to go by ORU to finalize my drop process. It's so tedious there. At SNU, one could simply go to their advisor and drop any class they chose. There was no exit interview, professor's signature required, and certainly more than one person in the entire school knew how to complete the process, not one woman who is gone half the time so that students wishing to drop out have to wait weeks and make multiple trips to the school.
I have every intention of showering and going to a bookstore to read a wonderful novel that's been half-finished for ages. But I need a nap first, just a tiny one, and I deserve one because a) it's still before noon, and b) my life is missing right now.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Depressing and Doubtful
Things in life would be so great if I just couldn't think.
I graduated from college, did something most people don't ever have the chance to do, and I did it well. I loved it, worked hard, and was ready when it ran its course.
Then there was nothing.
It was either move back in with the parents or move down to Austin and start a life for myself.
Then physical therapy happened. I'm beginning to think it was just something to do, something to try, because I had no other options. Now, I am unhappy. Everytime I think about school, I cringe. Everytime I look at a textbook, the corners of my mouth (more appropriately, my depressor anguli oris) die. Everytime I go to class, my heart is heavy. I am disorganized, I am behind, and getting back in academic shape isn't important to me. I have senioritis, but at the beginning of my journey.
It could quite possibly be the prospect of four years exactly like this one, no money, no social life (except Jef, he's wonderful) but that's giving myself too much credit. You see, I'm not convinced I would even make it into physical therapy school. Moreover, I'm not convinced physical therapy is what I want to do anymore.
Even though everyone around me has been incredibly supportive of my endeavors, my parents most of all, I know I'm only staying with PT because there's nowhere else to go right now. I am safe in my parents' house, with school as a crutch to be free from adult responsibilities. School used to make me feel safe, but right now, it feels like walls closing in on me.
I've never quit anything before, and I don't know how.
I graduated from college, did something most people don't ever have the chance to do, and I did it well. I loved it, worked hard, and was ready when it ran its course.
Then there was nothing.
It was either move back in with the parents or move down to Austin and start a life for myself.
Then physical therapy happened. I'm beginning to think it was just something to do, something to try, because I had no other options. Now, I am unhappy. Everytime I think about school, I cringe. Everytime I look at a textbook, the corners of my mouth (more appropriately, my depressor anguli oris) die. Everytime I go to class, my heart is heavy. I am disorganized, I am behind, and getting back in academic shape isn't important to me. I have senioritis, but at the beginning of my journey.
It could quite possibly be the prospect of four years exactly like this one, no money, no social life (except Jef, he's wonderful) but that's giving myself too much credit. You see, I'm not convinced I would even make it into physical therapy school. Moreover, I'm not convinced physical therapy is what I want to do anymore.
Even though everyone around me has been incredibly supportive of my endeavors, my parents most of all, I know I'm only staying with PT because there's nowhere else to go right now. I am safe in my parents' house, with school as a crutch to be free from adult responsibilities. School used to make me feel safe, but right now, it feels like walls closing in on me.
I've never quit anything before, and I don't know how.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Seriously Considering Quitting
Sorry I haven't posted in so long.
Basically the events of the past days can best be summed up as follows:
School = DIEHATEFRUSTRATEMAIMDESTROYYYYY! SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING QUITTING. I don't have to do this, you know.
JT= Wonderful.Smile.Handsome.InsanelyLike.
I'll try to be better about updating!
Basically the events of the past days can best be summed up as follows:
School = DIEHATEFRUSTRATEMAIMDESTROYYYYY! SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING QUITTING. I don't have to do this, you know.
JT= Wonderful.Smile.Handsome.InsanelyLike.
I'll try to be better about updating!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Talking myself down
Sometimes this blog helps just to talk myself down haha...
I am super stressed for my three tests in the next two days. My pulse is racing, even. This morning, I sat down to compose a blog entry saying I was at peace with my tests tomorrow. I've studied the past couple of weeks here and there, but these are the first major exams. To top it off, things are happening in my personal life, too. Everything always happens at once. It's crazy how that works, and never fails!
Ever since that last post when I talked about my vision to help people with prosthetics and orthotics, I have been looking into my options. Apparently, to become certified in that area would only take me until the end of the summer. Do I want to limit myself to that particular specialty? I e-mailed someone from OU, so when I get her advice, I will let you all know!
Today in my parents' mailbox, a nice little Valentine's card was waiting for me from a friend at my old school. Wayne is one of the best guys I have ever known. I am so grateful that he's such a considerate friend. I was his student mentor a year ago when he was a freshman, and he sent me a birthday card after I'd only known him a couple of weeks!
I wish I didn't have to go to my night class, but I think we are getting a take-home test tonight, and flashcards and vocabulary quizzes are helpful. Hopefully, the study session New Friend, Lab Partner, and I arranged will pay off and put my mind at ease. I can study for Anatomy between classes tomorrow, I just remembered.
There, that helps a little...
I am super stressed for my three tests in the next two days. My pulse is racing, even. This morning, I sat down to compose a blog entry saying I was at peace with my tests tomorrow. I've studied the past couple of weeks here and there, but these are the first major exams. To top it off, things are happening in my personal life, too. Everything always happens at once. It's crazy how that works, and never fails!
Ever since that last post when I talked about my vision to help people with prosthetics and orthotics, I have been looking into my options. Apparently, to become certified in that area would only take me until the end of the summer. Do I want to limit myself to that particular specialty? I e-mailed someone from OU, so when I get her advice, I will let you all know!
Today in my parents' mailbox, a nice little Valentine's card was waiting for me from a friend at my old school. Wayne is one of the best guys I have ever known. I am so grateful that he's such a considerate friend. I was his student mentor a year ago when he was a freshman, and he sent me a birthday card after I'd only known him a couple of weeks!
I wish I didn't have to go to my night class, but I think we are getting a take-home test tonight, and flashcards and vocabulary quizzes are helpful. Hopefully, the study session New Friend, Lab Partner, and I arranged will pay off and put my mind at ease. I can study for Anatomy between classes tomorrow, I just remembered.
There, that helps a little...
Friday, February 2, 2007
Excited about the weekend!
If this says anything about me, I asked for two things for Valentine's Day: Anatomy Flashcards and the solutions manual for my chem book. I got neither.
Luckily my parents knew me better and got me this on super sale. They are great!
In chapel, a woman came and spoke about leadership. I liked what she had to say until she asked everyone who felt called to leadership to come up to the front. Hundreds filled the aisles and empty spaces, and she told them she would go around to each one and lay hands on them.
Well then she pointed a guy wearing a suit and says, "You are going to be a businessman, not into the ministry. I see you leading in a conference room. And forget about girls right now; they are a distraction."
My mouth fell open in shock. What if his girlfriend was standing right there? What if he was a senior theology student? I'm all about stepping on people's toes, but in public like that? This lady also told the president of the university that he would never live to see the kind of results his father's ministry had as far as healing goes, but that his daughters would possess those gifts and touch the nations that way. In front of the entire university? To me, if you have a personal message for someone, you tell them to their face, because if it's not from God, you can seriously damage someone who desperately wants God's will for their life and might go about it the wrong way if they are without direction. Anyway, it didn't sit well with me.
Good news: I am on my way to Arkansas to see LelJ! I'll return with pictures and the like on Sunday, just in time for the Superbowl. GO COLTS!
Luckily my parents knew me better and got me this on super sale. They are great!
In chapel, a woman came and spoke about leadership. I liked what she had to say until she asked everyone who felt called to leadership to come up to the front. Hundreds filled the aisles and empty spaces, and she told them she would go around to each one and lay hands on them.
Well then she pointed a guy wearing a suit and says, "You are going to be a businessman, not into the ministry. I see you leading in a conference room. And forget about girls right now; they are a distraction."
My mouth fell open in shock. What if his girlfriend was standing right there? What if he was a senior theology student? I'm all about stepping on people's toes, but in public like that? This lady also told the president of the university that he would never live to see the kind of results his father's ministry had as far as healing goes, but that his daughters would possess those gifts and touch the nations that way. In front of the entire university? To me, if you have a personal message for someone, you tell them to their face, because if it's not from God, you can seriously damage someone who desperately wants God's will for their life and might go about it the wrong way if they are without direction. Anyway, it didn't sit well with me.
Good news: I am on my way to Arkansas to see LelJ! I'll return with pictures and the like on Sunday, just in time for the Superbowl. GO COLTS!
a distraction
Friday, January 19, 2007
A new friend
I made a new friend today. She conveniently happens to be the sister of All Smiles Guy and is in both of my classes. We officially met during chapel today, which I was convinced to attend by an old friend I ran into. She bought me lunch and we studied for our anatomy quiz before class. I probably made a B on it, but it was the first one and tricky, as one can only expect from Bodydoc.
Chapel was one of the most interesting experiences I've ever witnessed. A man and his wife came to pray for the president of the university, who is leaving for a massive mission trip to Niger, Africa. (I learned it's pronounced "Knee-Zhere," by the way.) It was so extraordinary because the wife spoke in tongues and her husband interpreted it. Call me Doubting Thomas, but a small part of me wondered if it was a hoax. I know it was legit because she would insert a couple of English words every now and again and he always picked them up accordingly, but it all was happening so fast there was no way he could have retained it without the entire stream of communication.
Like many less-charismatic Christians, I've always been skeptical about the gift of tongues. Basically, everything I believe can be summed up in I Corinthians 14.I don't believe that everyone can speak in tongues, so I don't believe that a mass audience should be encouraged to like the chapel speakers do. That only creates confusion and people trying to create the Holy Spirit's voice from their own vocabulary.
The worship was phenomenal, and I really wish I could be a part of it. As much as I was trying to get out of chapel before, I think a weekly dose might be good for me.
I need to be careful; those conspirators might think they have me yet!
Chapel was one of the most interesting experiences I've ever witnessed. A man and his wife came to pray for the president of the university, who is leaving for a massive mission trip to Niger, Africa. (I learned it's pronounced "Knee-Zhere," by the way.) It was so extraordinary because the wife spoke in tongues and her husband interpreted it. Call me Doubting Thomas, but a small part of me wondered if it was a hoax. I know it was legit because she would insert a couple of English words every now and again and he always picked them up accordingly, but it all was happening so fast there was no way he could have retained it without the entire stream of communication.
Like many less-charismatic Christians, I've always been skeptical about the gift of tongues. Basically, everything I believe can be summed up in I Corinthians 14.I don't believe that everyone can speak in tongues, so I don't believe that a mass audience should be encouraged to like the chapel speakers do. That only creates confusion and people trying to create the Holy Spirit's voice from their own vocabulary.
The worship was phenomenal, and I really wish I could be a part of it. As much as I was trying to get out of chapel before, I think a weekly dose might be good for me.
I need to be careful; those conspirators might think they have me yet!
Ahead of Schedule
Thoughts on the first day of anatomy lab...
1) Our lab manual is a coloring book.
2) I love Bodydoc (professor).
3) Her nickname for me is Miss Texas because we found out we are mutual Longhorns fans.
4) Bodydoc has a 30-pt optional extra credit assignment in which we have to perform tasks all around the building using her extra wheelchair.
5) I remember a lot more from five years ago than I thought I did!
I found out that ORU's chapel registry system is a lot different than SNU's. For example, I can swipe my card and leave. There are no friendly Chapel Chicks and Chaps to make sure I don't pull a fast one on the system. This pleases me, a little.
In other news, my Medical Vocab professor suffered a stroke, so I am praying for her recovery, because even though I never met her, that's an awful thing to happen just as a repercussion of a gallbladder surgery! We haven't had class in a week and a half, and our exam on Tuesday will be open-book. Still! I can't believe that happened to my poor teacher!
I have a quiz in both chemistry and anatomy tomorrow, so I'm going to hit the books!
1) Our lab manual is a coloring book.
2) I love Bodydoc (professor).
3) Her nickname for me is Miss Texas because we found out we are mutual Longhorns fans.
4) Bodydoc has a 30-pt optional extra credit assignment in which we have to perform tasks all around the building using her extra wheelchair.
5) I remember a lot more from five years ago than I thought I did!
I found out that ORU's chapel registry system is a lot different than SNU's. For example, I can swipe my card and leave. There are no friendly Chapel Chicks and Chaps to make sure I don't pull a fast one on the system. This pleases me, a little.
In other news, my Medical Vocab professor suffered a stroke, so I am praying for her recovery, because even though I never met her, that's an awful thing to happen just as a repercussion of a gallbladder surgery! We haven't had class in a week and a half, and our exam on Tuesday will be open-book. Still! I can't believe that happened to my poor teacher!
I have a quiz in both chemistry and anatomy tomorrow, so I'm going to hit the books!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Snowed in
My first friend at ORU dropped Anatomy.
Sad day.
In other news, I tried out chapel today, and it was an adventure. The woman in front of me stood up every five paces and waved her hands at the speaker. This is from the balcony, mind you. The commuters all have to sit up there, but I'm too indifferent to mind.
Oh, and I took the chemistry placement test! I get to stay in the class!
Also, I was waiting in the little alcove studying diligently with my little anatomy book in my lap, and this girl was saying horrible things about one of her friends. It was a guy, I assumed, because I know the kind of guy she was talking about and I know the kind of girl she is, too. She was dressed professionally and her makeup was pretty intense. She's the type of girl who dresses maturely, chooses adult-like hobbies, all to mask the deep sense of immaturity she possesses. My theories were confirmed as she proceeded to confront the offender as per the first friend's recommendation.
"We need to talk about something, but I don't think we should do it here," she says. The guy is in trouble, and he knows it. I pretend to be really interested in my anatomy book, not that I can concentrate because she is making quite the scene.
"I don't know if I can handle the way you treat me anymore!" she jumps in. "Remember the other day at your apartment. I was so excited about my new job and the first thing you ask is how much I made. Not 'congratulations,' or 'I'm so proud of you.' How much money did I make? Is that all you care about?"
He tells her she misunderstood him, and she attacks him again, claiming he's twisting her words. The guy speaks slowly and deliberately, and he has to, because one wrong move could launch her tinny whine again. He tells her what she wants to hear, of course, and then she ends the conversation by saying, "I guess I need to just tell you when something's bothering me instead of letting it pile on, but the thing is, I just hate confrontation..." LIE.
You see, I don't mean to overhear such things, they just happen around me and I can't help it, especially when I'm trying to concentrate on other things like, um, the circulatory system. Anyway, I hate high maintenance friends, even if they act that way toward other people. I wanted to interrupt, tell her to find a new friend if she's so unhappy or to learn that he doesn't intend to belittle her, and if this pattern of communication indicates the rest of their friendship, he probably doesn't know how to relate to her because he's afraid of launching another tirade. And next time, don't launch your little melodrama in a public place because I'll not have raving, hormonal theatrics on my watch!
The good thing about ORU is that I've gotten in touch with some of my friends from grade school. I'm talking about the guy who introduced me to Star Wars. Yeah, that's how long I've known him!
Tulsa is covered with sheets of ice. My car door was frozen shut and I nearly got frostbite on my hands trying to scrape the windows with my little Shane & Shane CD case. Luckily the drive wasn't too bad until the hill to my street. A poor baby Lexus coupe was having the hardest time puttering up that hill, going "puttputtputtputtspinout. puttputtputtspinout," but it didn't hit anything to my knowledge.
So we're snowed in this weekend, but I'm kind of relieved. Maybe it will be enough to change my homely tendencies lately, and when it melts I'll venture into the Tulsa social scene and make some new friends.
Sad day.
In other news, I tried out chapel today, and it was an adventure. The woman in front of me stood up every five paces and waved her hands at the speaker. This is from the balcony, mind you. The commuters all have to sit up there, but I'm too indifferent to mind.
Oh, and I took the chemistry placement test! I get to stay in the class!
Also, I was waiting in the little alcove studying diligently with my little anatomy book in my lap, and this girl was saying horrible things about one of her friends. It was a guy, I assumed, because I know the kind of guy she was talking about and I know the kind of girl she is, too. She was dressed professionally and her makeup was pretty intense. She's the type of girl who dresses maturely, chooses adult-like hobbies, all to mask the deep sense of immaturity she possesses. My theories were confirmed as she proceeded to confront the offender as per the first friend's recommendation.
"We need to talk about something, but I don't think we should do it here," she says. The guy is in trouble, and he knows it. I pretend to be really interested in my anatomy book, not that I can concentrate because she is making quite the scene.
"I don't know if I can handle the way you treat me anymore!" she jumps in. "Remember the other day at your apartment. I was so excited about my new job and the first thing you ask is how much I made. Not 'congratulations,' or 'I'm so proud of you.' How much money did I make? Is that all you care about?"
He tells her she misunderstood him, and she attacks him again, claiming he's twisting her words. The guy speaks slowly and deliberately, and he has to, because one wrong move could launch her tinny whine again. He tells her what she wants to hear, of course, and then she ends the conversation by saying, "I guess I need to just tell you when something's bothering me instead of letting it pile on, but the thing is, I just hate confrontation..." LIE.
You see, I don't mean to overhear such things, they just happen around me and I can't help it, especially when I'm trying to concentrate on other things like, um, the circulatory system. Anyway, I hate high maintenance friends, even if they act that way toward other people. I wanted to interrupt, tell her to find a new friend if she's so unhappy or to learn that he doesn't intend to belittle her, and if this pattern of communication indicates the rest of their friendship, he probably doesn't know how to relate to her because he's afraid of launching another tirade. And next time, don't launch your little melodrama in a public place because I'll not have raving, hormonal theatrics on my watch!
The good thing about ORU is that I've gotten in touch with some of my friends from grade school. I'm talking about the guy who introduced me to Star Wars. Yeah, that's how long I've known him!
Tulsa is covered with sheets of ice. My car door was frozen shut and I nearly got frostbite on my hands trying to scrape the windows with my little Shane & Shane CD case. Luckily the drive wasn't too bad until the hill to my street. A poor baby Lexus coupe was having the hardest time puttering up that hill, going "puttputtputtputtspinout. puttputtputtspinout," but it didn't hit anything to my knowledge.
So we're snowed in this weekend, but I'm kind of relieved. Maybe it will be enough to change my homely tendencies lately, and when it melts I'll venture into the Tulsa social scene and make some new friends.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Apprehensive
My Anatomy professor seems a bitter and jaded woman. She made her views about the health care system quite clear with a series of blunt blows toward the nursing students in class. I am going to love her.
The people at this school intimidate me, or at least the very vocal people do. I've gone to Christian schools my entire life and consider myself a spiritual person, but I've never encountered people who are so openly passionate about their religion, or at least the ones I've known were on five-minute spiritual highs on a roller coaster with a broken track. I'm not saying this spiritual flamboyancy is a bad thing; it's just easy to be wary of this charisma and its genuineness.
I made a friend in class. She is a French Ed major, and I'm trying to talk her into keeping the class because it'll be ten times more interesting than any other lame natural science class. We discussed our lack of science background compared to the other students in the class, but I reassured her that she has the best prerequisite: a human body. Plus she has me, an English major, so she won't be alone!
It's hard getting into the swing of things. I haven't really begun to work as hard as I'll need to, and both of my labs were canceled this week, so the terror of being in two labs at once hasn't taken full effect. I haven't taken the chemistry test yet, so I need to study for that and do lots of reading tonight.
There's a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I can't interpret it. Is it because I'm doing the wrong thing? Am I scared of the reality that's going to kick in any moment now? Both of my professors noted that A's are scarcely rewarded in their classes, so it could be that.
Two new things have surfaced to keep me on my feet. For one, my mom scheduled me with a vocal instructor last night. It was so last minute, but ended up being really fun. We worked on one of my favorite songs, "On My Own" from Les Miserables, and it was wonderful to sing with accompaniment. We also went through some Disney songs a la "He's a Tramp," and selections from Beauty and the Beast.
Also, I am observing the St. Francis physical therapy wing all day next Tuesday, so that will be an interesting experience. We'll see what happens yet.
The people at this school intimidate me, or at least the very vocal people do. I've gone to Christian schools my entire life and consider myself a spiritual person, but I've never encountered people who are so openly passionate about their religion, or at least the ones I've known were on five-minute spiritual highs on a roller coaster with a broken track. I'm not saying this spiritual flamboyancy is a bad thing; it's just easy to be wary of this charisma and its genuineness.
I made a friend in class. She is a French Ed major, and I'm trying to talk her into keeping the class because it'll be ten times more interesting than any other lame natural science class. We discussed our lack of science background compared to the other students in the class, but I reassured her that she has the best prerequisite: a human body. Plus she has me, an English major, so she won't be alone!
It's hard getting into the swing of things. I haven't really begun to work as hard as I'll need to, and both of my labs were canceled this week, so the terror of being in two labs at once hasn't taken full effect. I haven't taken the chemistry test yet, so I need to study for that and do lots of reading tonight.
There's a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I can't interpret it. Is it because I'm doing the wrong thing? Am I scared of the reality that's going to kick in any moment now? Both of my professors noted that A's are scarcely rewarded in their classes, so it could be that.
Two new things have surfaced to keep me on my feet. For one, my mom scheduled me with a vocal instructor last night. It was so last minute, but ended up being really fun. We worked on one of my favorite songs, "On My Own" from Les Miserables, and it was wonderful to sing with accompaniment. We also went through some Disney songs a la "He's a Tramp," and selections from Beauty and the Beast.
Also, I am observing the St. Francis physical therapy wing all day next Tuesday, so that will be an interesting experience. We'll see what happens yet.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Chemically-challenged
First day of chemistry and I've already come across a snag: a required placement exam.
Apparently, if I don't pass this exam, I'll have to take calculus or some other pansy class before I can take Chem I. This is a huge problem. For one, I haven't taken calculus or trig or algebra or chemistry since high school, which was four years ago. I know that it will all come back to me once I'm in a classroom setting, but unfortunately if I don't pass this exam, PT school next fall might become PT school in two years because Chem I is a prerequisite for some of my other classes, and if I get behind this early, who knows what will happen.
I am going to study the first couple of chapters and take the test tomorrow or Friday. Maybe, by the grace of God, some handsome chemist will save me from my plight.
Fat chance.
Apparently, if I don't pass this exam, I'll have to take calculus or some other pansy class before I can take Chem I. This is a huge problem. For one, I haven't taken calculus or trig or algebra or chemistry since high school, which was four years ago. I know that it will all come back to me once I'm in a classroom setting, but unfortunately if I don't pass this exam, PT school next fall might become PT school in two years because Chem I is a prerequisite for some of my other classes, and if I get behind this early, who knows what will happen.
I am going to study the first couple of chapters and take the test tomorrow or Friday. Maybe, by the grace of God, some handsome chemist will save me from my plight.
Fat chance.
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