Competition

There are many forms of it. Friendly competition that builds camaraderie. Unspoken competition that gradually deteriorates friendships. Open rivalries. Competition to advance in some way.

My pride should have taken a major fall, but it wasn't too bad. My team, my beloved Texas Longhorns lost by a touchdown to OU. That's only a big deal because a) I am a Texas fan living in Oklahoma, and b) my boyfriend graduated from OU, lived in their stadium, and absolutely loves those Sooners. JT has been very graceful about it. I think it's because OU only beat them by a touchdown. Some predicted it would be a blowout. Both teams, and the entire Big XII for that matter have a lot of work to do! Anyway, I pictured a big show of exaggerated celebrations and dramatics during the game, but that was kind of muted because JT was as sick as a dog. When it was over, the outcome wasn't the typical end of a competition, just an attitude of so that's that.

I have been a competitive person my entire life. It's in my nature as a human being, as the firstborn and only girl of three children in my family, and as my father's daughter.

In sports, I was incredibly clumsy, but I went out for the team every year. It wasn't natural ability or winning that kept me signing up every season, it was my competitive nature. I have missed playing sports because my life is much better when that kind of adrenaline, strategy, and power is incorporated into my lifestyle. I am determined to play indoor soccer again and develop fundamental skills so it looks like I know what I am doing out there.

I am running in the Tulsa Run two weeks from Saturday. Sometimes I wonder if 15K is too much for a first race. This is coming from the person who broke stride in footraces on the playground when it became apparent that I was going to lose. It's different, running. It's not a team sport; your success is totally dependent on your ability. I have worked, but not too hard. I can run 6 miles on a good day, but my runs are becoming more inconsistent. I suck wind and jog at a snail-like pace. I average about 11-12 minutes per mile, which is fast compared to my track record. (HA! Yes, pun intended!)

Even though I've been running for months, I've developed habits but no consistency. I'll run three nights one week and one night another week. On my days back from a couple days' break, I can run farther and faster. When I've gotten enough sleep, carbs, and protein, my performance is better, who would have known. Some days I run six miles. Other days I am struggling before the first mile marker. I just need to not be so self-conscious. I need to take the Truffle Shuffle out there and ignore everyone else during the race. I need someone to tell me that even if I can't run nine miles, and my pace is much slower than everyone else's, it won't hurt to give it my best instead of giving up and making excuses.

Confession time: I am a very prideful woman. I hate not being right, not being perfect. I would rather be bad at something than be great but not perfect at it. Just for kicks, what do you consider the best way to douse a competition that has gotten out of hand? How do you lay down your pride and agree to disagree when arguing with someone?

I think that learning how to exist peacefully with people is one of the most important things to master in this world, and that laying down your pride and approaching a person to talk things out is key in those baby steps of learning. Even though I will never be perfect at it, this is one thing I will not hesitate to try.