Lost and Found

I haven't gotten directionally lost in a long time, and when I am lost, I usually capitalize on the situation by exploring the area and seeing what new things I can learn about my location. Saturday, we were painting JT's kitchen when we discovered that my mad corner painting skills were impaired by old brushes. There's a Lowe's five minutes from his house, so I volunteered to exchange an air filter and stock up on brushes. Well, I ended up getting the wrong brushes. I got chip brushes, which are used for woodwork and much too small for our task at hand. (I know, right? I asked myself why send a woman to Lowes? Because my track record for painting proved that I would be much more useful on this trip than trying to get work done myself!)

So I had to go back and I was pouty and disappointed that I had been having female moments all day. If there's one thing I hate less, it's living up to the typical female stereotypes. (I only have brothers, if that clears things up.)

There's Lowes at the Green Marker. Somewhere, somehow in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, I turned too early and ended up on the Broken Arrow Expressway. Whoops. Oh well, JT doesn't have to know. I turned around on the next exit. There weren't any signs, but I figured doing a DIRECT U-TURN would put me back on the same highway, just going west toward Lowe's. Almost immediately, I realized that I was getting further from civilization. There were no highway markers to tell me what highway I was on or which direction I was going. Furthermore, I drove about fifteen minutes with no sign of an exit.

Then I relented.

I called JT.

After assuring him that there were no highway markers to speak of (I'll feel really dumb if I missed those!) He told me to call him when I had a chance to turn around. That chance didn't come for about thirty minutes. I ended up:

I told you, I was far, far away from civilization. And worse, my fuel light was about to come on. That's only happened once before, and I was determined not to panic this time, so I trusted that I could get back on air.

After some investigation, I figured out how I managed to get on the wrong highway by doing a direct U-turn. I ended up on the same highway, except still going east, I think. You would have gotten turned around, too if you had to work with this kind of geography. Check this sucker out in the middle of the map...it's intense!

Before I went to Lowe's, I got gas at the nearest station, which was pretty old-fashioned. And by old-fashioned, I mean no pay at the pump service. There was an old man pumping next to me. He was SO cute and looked sharp and grandfatherly at the same time. We struck up a conversation about gas prices (at which point, I realized I was pumping the wrong kind of gas into my car, but it wasn't diesel, just ended up paying more) and how we wish ethanol would become more mainstream.

In the middle of our conversation, the saddest thing happened. His wife came out of the car and started yelling at him. I don't know what he did wrong, but she was screaming at him that he was stupid and never paid attention to what he was doing! I turned away politely, and my gas pump clicked finished. I wanted to say goodbye, but the man wouldn't make eye contact with me. As I got into my car, he was walking into the store and his head was bowed and his shoulders were slumped. He had the saddest look on his face and my heart broke right there. When I got to Lowe's, I was determined to salvage the female gender. I asked a boy of about twelve for advice on paint brushes, saying I got the wrong one last time and needed a man's opinion. His chest puffed out and he began telling me everything he knew about brushes in the deepest voice a boy who hasn't gone through puberty can manage.

By the time I got back to JT's house, I had been gone over an hour. He had his arms open to me and lip curled out like he felt sorry for me for getting lost, but I couldn't stop thinking about the old man. He held me for a little while and I told him about my experiences. And I needed it. I didn't understand how wounded I was for that old man.

If you skip over this post, because I know it's long, just read this part alone. That gas station experience made me realize how important it is for women to respect and defend their men, even against her own self. It doesn't matter how he's treated you or what kind of lapses in judgment he's had, no man deserves to be emasculated by a woman with a sharp tongue and a cruel demeanor. Women, if you think that real men are a dying breed, whether they're domineering or have no backbone to speak of, then rethink the messages you send to men. Don't take a man's fire away by cutting him down or bossing him around. Encourage him, build him up, and let him know that you need him, but at the same time, don't patronize him. Defend yourself with the truth if you need it, but be patient with him, and try not to let disagreements turn into personal attacks. If you want a man with fire, then don't extinguish him.

End soapbox!